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        Self Tranquilizer

           Picture Courtesy: Google

What does the word ‘beautiful’ means to you? The definition of Oxford ‘pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically’ and everyone believes and behave through this definition. When your face could not pleases the senses of every person other than you, you have considered yourself as not beautiful. If your face can’t please another, why can’t you be satisfied with how you look like? If you start believing like any other person, you are no different than them. You don’t have any uniqueness or anything different than others. If others believe that beautiful means only pleasing senses then there is no other beauty than that. You should create beauty out of things which can’t please the senses but which can win the hearts of many living beings. If you can’t please others with your beautiful face, don’t even try becoming that. That beauty will remain just for few moments. I know when criticisms from people around you showers like a harsh droplets of rain upon your face, you should smile and face that harshness. I know you have received limitless verbal disapproval, nit-picking, denunciations, judgmental remarks, and capricious comments just because your face could not satisfy other’s expectations in terms of beauty but you just can’t cocoon your whole life in outsider’s comments.  I know you are depressed. I know you are sentimental internally though you exhibit confidence existentially. 

Life has been not a simplest form for you but you survived and you will survive until your death calls you. You just cannot give your life as alms to death. Death should take you when your time of living gets exhausted. You have loathed enough to yourself and now you should not be offensive to yourself anymore. You have always accused the Creator for your disfigured appearance. You have questioned your mother for unseemliness appearance of face.  You have imprisoned your self confidence in the name of your beastly and deformed appearance. I know you have been flustered several times with your appearance. I know people around you who had seen you, who had known you, who had looked at you, all of them; they had found your face displeasing to look at you. I understand how much pain you have endured when people around you talked about your ugliness. I had been with every second and I know the quantity of tears yours had been shedding like a droplets of rain flowing from the sky of eyes. I can vividly remember the painful illness you have undergone when you passionately wanted to be beautiful. But, look at you, what did you get from all those pain and criticism you have gone through? What did you achieve by condemning yourself? What results did you obtain from accusing the Creator that you can’t even see? Do you think questioning your mother of your appearance will make you beautiful? Were you born ugly? No! You were born as cute and brownish complexioned baby girl just like any other girl? If you were born as natural as cute and as same as all other girls then why your face has steadily become ugly? Can you just consider it as karmic illness? I know you are perplexed with this matter. I know you can’t erase the darkness covering your face as easy as it has covered your face.  I know I can’t share the pain you are holding in your heart.

Nevertheless, you have to know that you are not here in the stage of dramatic life for exhibition of your face. You have to realize that you are not simply born here to compete on your appearance with another. I know everyone sees what you appear to be and they never experience the hardships you had been going through. I know men search love through appearance. I know men had never known that appearances are a glimpse of unseen truth that may be pure or that may be impure. But people around you have molded you just an impure woman just because your face is not adorable. I had never thought that true love is limited within the circle of beautiful representation. I always wanted you to be presentable but somehow you lost this charm on the journey of your survival. If there is no one that finds you admirable, it is completely fine. If there are people criticizing your looks, it is absolutely fine. It will be painful to resist the criticism but you can pass through that pain as well. If men are after beautiful appearances and if there is no man who will love you, it is fine. You can survive without man.

Life is not led with beautiful faces. Life is not led with man. Life will not get stagnant with your unpleasing face. Life will not get stopped because you remained single. Life will not get ended that people started judging you. You should know that whether you are beautiful or ugly, your life is your life. No one will either sympathize you, no one thinks of helping or consoling another person who is pain. Even if they console you, sympathize you, understand you, what you will achieve with their resentments with your ugliness? What will you become out of your understandings? What will you gain from their generosities? Knowing these facts, you should learn to accept the reality of your face. You should accept the reality of survival. You can be better than any beautiful person. You are not weak woman who would consider only face and its importance. You have the responsibility of becoming a woman who becomes the pillar and shield of many young and weak women.

  Aprihensle Kimum

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